The Hurt Feelings Report form is a unique tool designed to help individuals document their emotional distress in a structured manner. It serves as a means for those feeling hurt to express their grievances and seek sympathy from others. While it may seem unconventional, the form aims to address feelings in a lighthearted yet serious way, ensuring that everyone's emotions are acknowledged.
The Hurt Feelings Report form is a unique tool designed for individuals who wish to document their emotional distress in a structured manner. It serves as a way for people to express their feelings and seek sympathy from others, particularly law enforcement officers. This form requires specific personal information, including the whiner's name, age, and the details of the incident that caused the hurt feelings. Sections of the report ask for the date, time, and location of the hurtful comments, as well as whether anyone showed sympathy during the incident. Furthermore, it includes a section to assess the perceived injury, such as whether the hurtful words were spoken into one ear or both, and if any permanent emotional damage occurred. The form also allows individuals to articulate their reasons for filing the report, with options ranging from feeling thin-skinned to simply wanting more attention. Finally, the authentication section requires signatures from both the reporter and the whiner, adding a layer of accountability to the process. While the form may be presented in a light-hearted manner, it highlights the importance of addressing emotional well-being in a society where feelings often go unacknowledged.
When filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form, consider the following guidelines to ensure clarity and effectiveness:
Filling out the Hurt Feelings Report form may seem straightforward, but there are important aspects to consider. Here are key takeaways to keep in mind:
Completing this form thoughtfully can help you articulate your feelings and may lead to the support you seek. Remember, the process is meant to be lighthearted, but your feelings are still important.
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HURT FEELINGS REPORT
To use this form, it must be physically placed in the hands of any Law Enforcement Officer
DATA REQUIRED BY THE PRIVACY ACT OF 1974
AUTHORITY: PRINCIPAL PURPOSE:
ROUTINE USES:
DISCLOSURE:
S USC 301, Departmental Regulation, 10 USC 3013 and a log of other regulations too To assist whiners in documenting hurt feelings
Whiners should use this form to seek sympathy from someone who cares
Disclosure is voluntary, however, repeated whining may lead to your file being stamped "candy ass" or some other appropriate term
PART I - ADMINISTRATIVE DATA
A. WHINER'S NAME (Last, First, MI)
B. WHINER'S AGE
C. WHINER'S SEX
D. DATE OF REPORT
E. TYPE OF WHINE USED
F. NAME OF THE PERSON FILLING OUT THIS FORM
PART II - INCIDENT REPORT
A. DATE FEELINGS WERE HURT
B. TIME OF HURTFULNESS
C. LOCATION OF HURTFUL COMMENTS
D. WAS ANYONE SYMPATHETIC TO WHINER (Please include paid witnesses)
E. NAME OF PERSON WHO HURT YOUR PANSY ASS FEELINGS
F. HOW LONG DID YOU WHINE
G. WHICH FEELINGS WERE HURT
PART III - INJURY
(Circle all that apply)
1. WHICH EAR WERE THE HURTFULL WORDS SPOKEN INTO?
2. IS THERE PERMANENT FEELING DAMAGE?
LEFT
RIGHT
BOTH
YES
NO
MAYBE
3. DID YOU REQUIRE A "TISSUE" FOR TEARS?
4. HAS THIS RESULTED IN A TRAUMATIC BRAIN INJURY?
MULTIPLE
PART IV - REASON FOR
FILING THIS REPORT
(Mark all that apply)
I am thin skinned
The Dept needs to fix my problems
Two beers is not enough
I am a wimp
My feelings are easily hurt
My hands should be in my pockets
I have woman / man-like hormones
I didn't sign up for this
I was not offered a tissue
I am a crybaby
I was told that I am not a hero
Someone requested a tissue
I want my mommy
The weather is too cold
All of the above and more
NARRATIVE (Tell us in your own sissy words how your feelings were hurt, as if anyone cared)
PART V - AUTHENTICATION
A. PRINTED REPORTER NAME (if you wish to be labeled too)
B. SIGNATURE (are you sure about this?)
C. PRINTED WHINER NAME (you really are going out on a limb here) D. SIGNATURE OF WHINER (you have got to be shitting me!)
We, as the Dept, take hurt feelings seriously. If you don't have someone who can give you a hug and make things all better, please let us know and we will promptly dispatch a "hugger" to you ASAP. In the event a "hugger cannot be found, an EMS Team will be dispatched to soak your socks in coal oil to prevent ants from crawling up your leg and eating their way up your candy ass. If you are in need of supplemental support, upon written request, we will make every reasonable effort to prvide you with a "blankie", a "binky" and/or a bottle if you so desire.
Misconceptions about the Hurt Feelings Report form can lead to misunderstandings about its purpose and use. Here are seven common misconceptions, along with clarifications:
Understanding these misconceptions can help individuals feel more comfortable utilizing the Hurt Feelings Report form when they need to express their emotions. It is essential to create an environment where feelings are validated and supported.